Justice League The Borderlands Saga
by Mr. BramStoker
Summary: what happens when the Justice League team up with the Vault Hunters to battle the villainous Handsome Jack and save Pandora from mass destruction? a whole load of action, hilarity, fluff, Maya/Axton, Roland/Lilith, Hippolyta/Two-Face, jokes, fourth wall breakage, running gags and more! R&R plz
1. Welcome to Pandora

**Justice League: The Borderlands Saga**

 **Chapter 1: Welcome to Pandora**

"ohhh… my head" Robin moaned as he slumped out of the train wreck before hitting the snowy ground

"wow! What a ride! Let's do that again" Supergirl cheered excitedly, Alex calming her down

"ohh… who turned off the lights?" Maya murmured sleepily before coming face to face with Killer Croc

"Bonjour" Croc said sexily, Maya screaming loudly just as Axton and Nisha shushed her

"who are you guys?" Gaige asked curiously

"why, we're the Justice League, silly! We're the greatest band of superheroes that ever existed!" Hippolyta declared proudly

"…oh. Well, I never heard of some Justice League, but… how'd you all get here?" Nisha asked

"funny thing. Apparently one of our teleporters went a bit haywire and landed us in that train you guys were in. next thing I know, one led to another and boom; we're all stranded in… uh, where ARE we?" Two-Face asked

"this is Pandora. An alien planet far, far from the Milky Way. According to the statistics, the air on this planet is breathable" Zatanna explained

"huh. So we're on an alien planet… with aliens. Figures" Hawkgirl snarked

"wow! You're not dead! This is great! Claptrap, your metaphorical ship has arrived! I am a ClP-4TP unit, but my friends call me Claptrap, if I had any friends. Here! Take these ECHOs I totally didn't loot from these corpses. Now come, come friends, let's get you inside" said Claptrap, speaking in his incredibly annoying voice as usual

"…a robot? Out here in this snowy junk heap?" Hawkgirl asked

"awww, I think he's cute" Supergirl said sweetly, wanting to hug Claptrap until Alex pulled her back

"Kara, we don't talk to strangers" Alex said softly

"strangers? We basically saved your life" Nisha said, feeling a bit insulted

"listen… thanks for saving us, but… we don't belong here. We have no idea where Earth is, or where any way to get home is, so… we just wanna go home" Nightwing said

"I'm afraid it's not that easy, Richard" a very sexy voice spoke

"who said that?" Kara asked, looking around

"I did, Supergirl. My name is Angel. I'm here to help you and your family. Listen very carefully" Angel spoke

"why should we trust someone we don't even know? Are you one of the bastards responsible for bringing us into this mess?" Hush asked

"Tommy, please settle down. There's no need for tension. These are all very nice people. I'm sure all of Pandora will welcome us with open arms" Hippolyta said calmly

"Unfortunately, Your Majesty, you're wrong. Not everyone on Pandora is friendly. This planet is FILLED with very, very, VERY dangerous people. All kinds of life; people, plants, animals, whatever; they WILL try to hurt you. And the worst of them all is Handsome Jack, the president of Hyperion. HE is the one who caused the train explosion to send you here. He has terrorized Pandora for many years and has manipulated everyone for his own dirty work" Angel said

"great. So now we're on a savage death-trap planet and we're being hunted by a psycho narcissistic madman who thinks he's a hero when in reality he's nothing but a lying, cowardly, cruel, childish, petty, vain and downright despicable douchebag" Robin spat in disgust

"yes. But there is a way for you to get back to your planet" Angel continued

"Really?" Dinah asked happily

"Yes… but it WILL be VERY difficult. It will be risky, there will be violence, possible gunplay and the high chance someone could die" Angel said, the Leaguers gasping in horror. They've seen plenty of monsters and dozens of planets but for the life of them, NOTHING in the world could prepare them for landing millions of miles away out on a hostile alien planet and their only friends are six strangers, a chatterbox robot and a mysterious angel.

"well, we're listening. I'm always up for a challenge" Nightwing said confidently

"that's the spirit, son" Two-Face cheered

"if you truly want to return to Earth, you must kill Handsome Jack and wipe Hyperion out completely" Angel finished

"…huh. Well, how hard could that be?" Robin asked, unaware that the Leaguers and Vault Hunters were glaring at him

"well for starters, I'm only here to help you and give you advice" Angel explained

"so… does this mean we have to take orders from… THAT thing?" Green Arrow asked, pointing at Claptrap

"Yes! I shall be your wise leader and YOU shall be my strong fearsome minions! Ahahahahaha!" Claptrap laughed maniacally

"oh boy. I have a very bad feeling about this" Batman moaned, Axton giving him a pat on the back

"eh, don't stress out over it, Bats. Just stick with us, and we'll be outta here in no time" Nisha said

"so Maya, is it? I must say, you're very beautiful for a siren" Hippolyta said, as she and Maya sat at the table in Claptrap's Place

"thanks Mrs. Prince. You're quite attractive yourself" Maya said, Hippolyta blushing proudly before a loud guttural roar echoed

"Oooh, a monkey" Supergirl cheered excitedly at the sight of the gigantic Bullymong Knuckle Dragger

"MY BABY" Hippolyta bawled hysterically, Batman and Croc holding her back

"hey, little girl, be very careful. Bullymongs are wild animals" Nisha warned as Kara came closer to the feral primate

"want a banana?" Kara asked, holding a yellow banana in the Bullymong's face

"uh… apparently bullymongs do NOT like being called monkeys oh and they really, really, REALLY hate bananas" Maya explained

"I cant look" Alex whimpered, covering her eyes when all of a sudden Knuckle Dragger roared loudly in Kara's face, covering her in saliva and spit

"Wow! You sure had a lot… judging by your breath" Supergirl exclaimed, coughing as Knuckle Dragger growled menacingly at her

"get outta the way, kid" Axton hollered, shoving Supergirl out of harm's way just as Knuckle Dragger grabbed Claptrap, tore out the robot's eye and left

"oh no! the robot's broken" Black Canary gasped

"no… I'm…fine. My eye… gone" Claptrap said weakly, wheeling around blindly

"what can we do to help, little guy?" Amy asked

"the gun… the gun in the cabinet" Claptrap said weakly, Batman putting the gun in his pocket

"no guns, no killing" Batman said sternly

"hey wake up Bats. These bad guys here, they definitely will NOT take surrendering for an answer. Mark my words, they WILL kill you" Axton said

"well I'm not gonna take part of it" Batman remarked, Red Hood snatching the gun out of Batman's hands

"come on, let's go find that big-ass yeti and get Claptrap's eye back so we can find a way on getting the hell out of here" Red Hood ordered, everyone quickly complying

"ohhh my sweet baby Kara… are you ok?" Hippolyta asked worriedly, hugging Supergirl close

"yes Mommy, I'm fine. I'm scared of this place. I wanna go home" Supergirl whined, sucking her thumb

"we will be home soon buttercup. I promise" Alex said assuringly

"hey kiddos, Handsome Jack here! So… you're the Justice League, huh? Never expected a bunch of lousy pathetic mutant bandits to come down to MY planet and spoil my fun. So, here's how it's all gonna go down: I'm gonna wipe out the bandits, your Vault Hunting friends, every single miserable creature on this planet… and you guys. Oh and I'm REALLY gonna enjoy taking out the little blonde cutie. So, have your fun, kiddies. I'll be in touch" Handsome Jack said mockingly through the ECHO

"You listen to me, you… you… you monster! I don't know what your game is or why you'd hurt and terrorize this poor planet, but you brought all of this on yourself, you hear me? You endangered my babies, you left us all for dead in this snowy wasteland and you call yourself ruler of this planet because you have an army of murdering robots and goons at your beck and call, and because you value yourself more than everyone else on this planet. I swear by Hera's name, when I get my hands on you, you will realize how much of a grave mistake you made by challenging my children. So go ahead, try all you want, send as many of your hunks of junk at us, lie to us, play as many mind games as you'd like, but hear this; we will NOT fall for it. We WILL find you. We WILL stop your mad plans and we WILL send you and all of Hyperion back to Hades permanently. You've been warned" Hippolyta said angrily, crushing the ECHO with her fist in fury as Handsome Jack stood in shock and horror, realizing just how deep shit he just got himself into. Not only did he piss off 6 Vault Hunters, he just angered an immortal, nigh powerful and very, very, VERY loving goddess and her many, many superpowered children. Even worse, they're coming. And if they have to make all of Pandora run red with all of Hyperion's blood and send him screaming into the abyss of oblivion… then so be it.

 **Meanwhile…**

"Roland? We just found out the survivors of the train wreck are active" said Lt. Jessup

"excellent" Roland said

"and there's something else you should know about. The Vault Hunters… they're not alone. I'm sensing some very high levels of superhuman power in their group" Jessup continued as Roland's eyes lit up in amazement at the very strange costumed figures walking alongside the Vault Hunters. The blonde girl in the blue suit was the one that caught Roland's eye the most

"who ARE they?" Roland asked

"they call themselves the Justice League. According to one of them, they came from a strange place called… Earth" Jessup explained

"…huh. This is very interesting news" Roland said, grinning ear to ear. At long last, he had the golden opportunity to find a way to end all of Hyperion once and for all

"um… what shall we do with them, sir?" Jessup asked

"what's their location?" Roland asked

"they're entering Frostbite Crevasse, but they should be in Liar's Berg in just 0700 hours" Jessup answered

"when they get to Three Horns Divide, bring them here. I think we finally have what we need to bring Handsome Jack down for good" Roland spoke

"Yes sir, we'll get right on it" Jessup said, saluting as he exited the command center

 **To be continued…**


	2. Claptrap's Best Day Ever

**Justice League: The Borderlands Saga**

 **Chapter 2: Claptrap's Best Day Ever plus Handsome Jack's Worst Day Ever**

Morning light shone over the cloudy snowy skies of Southern Shelf as the Justice League, the Vault Hunters and their extremely chatty blind robot guide led them to the cliff overlooking the settlement of Liar's Berg

"the guy who lives here goes by the name of Sir Hammerlock. He's an old friend of mine, he repaired me after Handsome Jack killed my entire product line" Claptrap explained

"wow… he's really not a very nice person. He's a big smelly meanie" Supergirl said in disgust

"I heard that Superbrat. You care to say that to my face when I get my hands on you?" Handsome Jack asked angrily over the ECHO

"hey! You don't talk to my baby sister like that, you rotten little…" Alex started before Supergirl politely cut her off

"I'll handle this. I'm good with this" Supergirl said confidently

"oh I get it…" Alex said, snickering in amusement at her younger sister's cleverness

"oh hi! Are you spying on us? You know it's not very nice to spy on strangers" Supergirl said teasingly, Handsome Jack seething with fury at the Girl of Steel's dumbness

"do you have any idea who I am?" Handsome Jack asked, clenching his teeth

"um… really ugly, disgusting, gray-haired middle-aged guy who wears a mask to cover his disfigured face and runs a company filled with killer toys?" Supergirl asked as Handsome Jack slammed his desk in fury

"I swear, when I get my hands on you, I'm gonna…" Handsome Jack threatened before he was cut off by really loud snoring

"Oh sorry, I fell asleep from that speech. All I heard was blah blah blah…" Supergirl started, as Handsome Jack felt a vein pop in his head and began screaming incoherent gibberish

"Uh-oh, Handsome Jack said a bad word" Supergirl said mockingly in a singsong voice, the Leaguers snickering, unaware that the Crimson Raiders were listening in on the scene and could barely contain their laughter

"yup, that's MY kind of girl" Roland said in amusement

"I'LL KILL YOU, YOU DUMB BITCH! YOU HEAR ME?" Handsome Jack screamed hysterically as Supergirl muted the ECHO

"that was very good, buttercup" Alex said, smiling ear to ear

"…and bingo, all bandits have vamoosed outta here" Green Arrow said proudly, having scared all the camping bandits away with Killer Croc's help

"Oh my, is that Claptrap I see? And… By Jove, it's… it's the Justice League! Thank heavens you've arrived. Please, please, come over to my establishment and I'll see what I can do about repairing Claptrap's eye and finding you a better location of climate"  
/Sir Hammerlock said eloquently in his British accent as the Leaguers and Vault Hunters gently climbed down the mountain and made it safely to Sir Hammerlock's house

"a pleasure to meet you Leaguers and Vault Hunters, I am Sir Hammerlock, at your service" Sir Hammerlock said proudly, gesturing

"well hello there! I'm Hippolyta, this is my husband Harvey, and these are our kids" Hippolyta said sweetly

"so… where are we going?" Dinah asked

"you've got to reach Sanctuary; that's the home of the Crimson Raiders and the ONLY place you will truly be safe" Angel spoke through the ECHO

"ooh… but do we have to walk all the way over there? I'm only a little girl and… I'm afraid of flying" Kara said shyly, Alex hugging her close

"my baby sister has… she hit her head when she landed on Earth. She's really good in the brawns department, but… not very good in the brains" Alex explained as Kara sucked on her thumb

"I think she's cute" Maya commented

"well Claptrap, are we gonna get out of this freakin' snow cave or what?" Red Hood asked

"me and Captain Flynt made a deal a while back; I loot the dead, he promises not to torture me. Well, that. Ends. Today. Minions, we are going to take him out and steal back my ship to get us to Sanctuary" Claptrap explained

"ok then, lead the way" Nightwing said, as the heroes headed down the road to the Soaring Dragon

"hey… ow, these pretzels suck, how's your day been, assholes?" Handsome Jack asked from the ECHO

"Jack, listen to me very carefully. My little sister Kara is asleep now. And let me tell you a story: one time this asshole named Maxwell Lord snuck into her nursery and tried to kidnap her. Well, even for a little girl, Kara was still a powerhouse. So,  
/she basically bit Max on the nose and scarred his face, which then caused him to blind himself with the mirror and fall out the window to his death. So, unless you want to see Kara when she's really angry and know what getting the crap kicked out  
/of you by a 98 pound full-blooded Amazon feels like, then I suggest you shut your filthy worm-baited mouth and keep it shut and don't ever call us again. Oh by the way, we've taken your precious Butt Stallion a while back before we got here" Alexexplained  
as Handsome Jack's face went beet red with rage

"Nananana! How do you like THOSE apples, bully?" Supergirl teased, blowing a raspberry as Handsome Jack smashed the ECHO with rage

"BLAKE! CONTACT THE FLESHRIPPERS, I WANT THOSE FREAKS KILLED. **NOW!"** Handsome Jack yelled

"…yup, she's MY kind of recruit" Roland said proudly, observing the Leaguers' antics

"Attention all bandits of Pandora; I'm offering a multimillion reward for whoever kills the costumed freaks on this planet. ESPECIALLY THE VERY, VERY ANNOYING BLONDE HAIRED BRAT IN THE SLUTTY OUTFIT. I WANT THOSE SO CALLED SUPERHEROES DEAD, YOU HEAR ME!  
/I DON'T CARE IF THEY'RE GODS OR WHATEVER! ON PANDORA, **I AM A GOD**! I. WANT. THEM. DEAD" Handsome Jack roared maliciously over the ECHO

"…sorry to get your hopes up Jack, but, uh… we've arrived in Three Horns Divide and, the Fleshrippers are all dead, uh… we got all your weapons and money, oh and… my sisters have also hacked all your stupid ass Loaders and all that other Hyperion crap.  
/Oh and you have a four day total until we get to you and give you a proper meeting, Justice League style. Oh by the way, your city name Opportunity? It. SUCKS. SKAG. BALLS" Robin said proudly, turning the ECHO off as Handsome Jack screamed angrilyat  
the heavens above

"what the hell is that noise?" Captain Scarlett asked from her ship

"oh god… it cant be her… NO, WHADDYA WANT? YOU TOOK MY KIDS, WHAT ELSE DO YOU NEED?" Piston asked fearfully in the Badass Crater of Badassitude

"OH MY SWEET JESUS, WHOEVER'S SCREAMING MUST BE HULK HOGAN STEPPING ON A LARGE ASS NAIL OR JUSTIN BIEBER BELTING OUT ANOTHER PATHETIC ALBUM" Mr. Torgue said loudly

"In the name of Darkseid, we DEMAND THAT YOU STOP" Desaad commanded angrily as Handsome Jack calmed down before finding a letter on his desk which read Dear Handsome Jack, roses are red, violets are blue, who's the ugliest in all of Pandora? DefinitelyYOU.  
/Hahahahahaha. Signed, your BFF Kara

That did it. Handsome Jack started screaming even more, Darkseid rubbing his temples in annoyance

"THAT DOES IT!" Darkseid roared, using his Omega Beams to send the Helios moonshot satellite crashing down onto Opportunity, flattening everyone and everything

"uh Sir?" Mr. Blake asked nervously as his boss was having a world-class meltdown or temper tantrum that'd make Donald Trump looked like a sham. Jack angrily smashed his prized portraits of himself with an axe and tore everything apart in a fit of savage

"WHY… CANT… THEY… JUST… DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?" Handsome Jack roared, foam dripping from his mouth like he was on rabies, a'la Cujo

"uh… Sir? The Leaguers… they're… immortal" Blake whispered, then quickly ran for his life as Handsome Jack chased after him, laughing maniacally

"this is just so immature, seeing our CEO and President act like a total spoiled brat over costumed heroes" Vaughn said in disgust, he and the Main Board of Hyperion agreeing

"yes, then there's his list of death/hate threats directed at a Ms. Kara Prince" Tassiter continued

"awww… she's adorable. Look at that gorgeous smile" a female Hyperion executive cooed, everyone aweing

"all in favor of terminatingHandsome Jack as CEO and President of Hyperion, say aye?" Vaughn said

"aye" everyone said instantly

"good. Please escort him out of here" Vaughn said calmly as Hyperion commandos dragged a straitjacketed gibbering Handsome Jack away and sent him off to the Lynchwood Asylum for the Criminally Insane


	3. Roland, Prepare Me a Sanctuary

**Justice League: The Borderlands Saga**

 **Chapter 3: Roland, Prepare Me a Sanctuary**

 **WARNING; THIS CHAPTER HAS MAJOR SPOILERS. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK**

"Wheeee!" Supergirl cheered excitedly as the Leaguers' light runner van cruised over the bridge and landed on the snowy road leading to Sanctuary

"Maya, who taught you to drive?" Robin asked nervously as Maya cackled maniacally

"nobody" Maya answered with a devilish grin

"great" Robin sighed sarcastically as Maya ran over a dozen bullymongs

"are we there yet?" Kara asked

"almost, buttercup, almost" Alex said assuringly as soon as they reached the gate to Sanctuary

"ah, the Justice League. Name's Roland. I'm the Commander of the Crimson Raiders. I've heard a lot about you guys. Right now, I need your help. My soldier Corporal Reese hasn't returned with the new power core for Sanctuary yet. Find Reese, get the power  
core and we'll invite you and the Vault Hunters into the Raiders. You have your orders, soldiers. Move out" Roland spoke through the ECHO

"well, you heard him amigos. We got more work to do" Diablo said as he started driving to Reese's location

"well… looks like them psychos got him first" Vigilante commented as he noticed a few buzz axes on the ground

"I wouldn't be so sure about that. Look, bloody footprints. It looks like Reese was able to survive by running" Batman noted as he spotted Reese's bloody feet

"good eye, Bats. Come on, let's see where the blood leads us… and quietly" Nightwing added as the heroes stealthily entered Marrowmound and found a group of psychos crowding a bruised, bleeding man

"that must be Reese, judging by the Crimson Raider armor he's wearing" Alex said

"yup. Well Ollie, you know what to do" Axton commented

"Axton… it'd be my pleasure" Green Arrow said proudly, firing a few sharp arrows into the psychos' skulls, causing the bandits to drop dead, one of the bodies dropping the power core

"…huh? The Justice League? Didn't think I'd be much of a rescue. Here, take the power core. Without it, Sanctuary is defenseless. While you're at it, take out some of those bandits. I'm just gonna lay here and take a nap. Wake me when I'm not on Pandora  
anymore…" Reese wheezed hoarsely before expiring

"…is he sleeping?" Kara asked after a brief pause

"no, sweetie, he's dead" Nisha spoke sweetly as Kara bowed her head down sadly

"Reese is dead? He was the first man to be recruited into the Lancemen. Go take care of those bandits immediately. It's what Reese would've wanted. When you're done, bring the power core over to Sanctuary. Welcome to the Crimson Raid…" Roland said when  
a loud feedback came through the ECHO

"Roland! Mr. Roland, are you alright?" Kara asked, frightened as the ECHO went silent

"this isn't good…" Batgirl whimpered

"Roland's in trouble! We gotta save him" Kara cried

"and we will, sweetheart, we will. But first we need to help the people of Sanctuary. We WILL find Roland. I promise" Nisha said comfortingly, giving Kara a cool-down hug

…

"aw crap, is you Hyperion? Figured when Roland went missing, you'd come looking for me. Well I just wanna let ya know… you'll never take me alive, you robotic sumbitch" Scooter babbled in his southern twang before seeing the Leaguers and Vault Hunters

"well hook me upside down and cover me in grease, you're not Hyperion. You're Vault Hunters, and you're the Justice League! That's like a quadricorn. Listen, we need your help BAD. Roland went missing and I'ma have to initiate Plan B, aka Plan make this  
big ass city fly B. here are some energy cells to get you started" Scooter said, handing the heroes three pink cells

"ok, here goes nothing" Alex said, standing back as the engines whirred and the ground of Sanctuary quaked as it began to rise… when the engines died

"aw crap. Now we REALLY are in trouble" Scooter sighed

"hey, no need to get down on yourself kid. You did your best. All we need is like a message or somethin" Killer Croc said soothingly when as if on cue Lt. Jessup came running to their direction

"Leaguers, Vault Hunters! I'm Lieutenant Cole Jessup, Roland's second in command. Before Roland went missing, he left a message for you. Come with me to the command base" Jessup said quickly

"see, what'd I tell you?" Croc said, playfully ruffling Scooter's hair as the heroes entered the command base

"this is the Firehawk! Come to Frostburn Canyon if you want Roland alive" a scratchy digitized voice said through the ECHO

"Frostburn Canyon, eh? If my memory serves right, that'd be most likely where them bandits are holdin' Roland" Vigilante assumed

"what about Handsome Jack? I wanna beat him up" Kara said excitedly

"don't you worry about him, darling. After we're done with helpin Sanctuary and whatnot, I'll make sure he's all yours" Croc said

"yeah, if I had him at my feet, I'd impale him with a flag like that Mel Gibson movie The Patriot" Red Hood spoke, his sentence foreshadowing a possible event

"what's the Raiders flag doing in your inventory?" Green Arrow asked

"I'm saving it for when we find Handsome Jack" Red Hood answered as the Leaguers entered Frostburn Canyon and were greeted by the sight of a Bloodshot screaming his head off as he was being burned alive

"…well, THIS is a very nice place" Alex said sarcastically

"yeah, yeah. Let's just find Roland, deal with this Firehawk and get the hell outta here. There's something big going down and whatever it is, it's giving me the heebie-jeebies" Robin shivered

"what?" Maya asked

"weren't you listening? Jack kept babbling over and over about some Vault, using some kinda key, something about wiping out all life on Pandora" Robin answered

"wow Tim, that is some VERY good deducing" Batman said, impressed

"really?" Robin asked, hopeful

"yeah. You're finally growing your potatoes" Batman said

"well it is a very possible theory Robin, but we'll keep an eye out for what else Handsome Jack is up to" Hippolyta said softly as they stealthily crept upon a gathering of bandits

"Holy Joe DiMaggio, what the hey is THAT?" Booster Gold yelped, at the sight of a hulking monster with a metal helmet covering his face

"that's a Goliath. When damaged, they go berserk and attack anyone in their sight, causing them to level up and become more powerful" Maya explained

"…huh. I get the feeling a certain not so jolly green giant will be very happy with the fact that this planet is making fun of him" Robin commented

"HEY! GET THOSE COSTUMED FREAKS!" a nomad hollered loudly, as all the bandits' attention weredrawn towards the trespassers

"…shall we initiate a retreat?" Booster Gold asked cowardly

"get behind me. Now" Clayface ordered, everyone getting behind the mud giant for cover as the mighty Clayface let out a roar as he thrashed, smashed, bashed and crushed the bandits silly

"HAHAHAHA! THIS IS THE MOST FUN I'VE HAD SINCE ARKHAM CITY" Clayface chuckled proudly

"…is scary monster gone?" Kara whimpered, in the fetal position, sucking her thumb

"yes honey, they're all gone now. C'mere, I'll carry you" Huntress cooed, gently cradling Kara in her arms

"since Kara was a baby, her powers have been dormant for quite some time. It'll only be a matter of time until Kara's powers awaken" Hippolyta explained as the Leaguers carefully entered the Firehawk's lair only to find, to their surprise a red-haired  
woman with odd mystic tattoos all over her body

"is… is that the Firehawk?" Huntress asked softly as Kara was asleep in her arms

"Sup" the woman said, her name Lilith, alias the Firehawk. After surviving the disastrous events of New Haven, Lilith relocated to Sanctuary and went undercover as a bandit goddess while aiding the Crimson Raiders. Not only that, but she was also Roland's  
girlfriend

…well, ex-girlfriend, actually

"hey, how you doing? You must be the Justice League. I see you and the Vault Hunters are getting along well. Think you can help me? I got some Eridium in one of my chests, bring one over here, will you?" Lilith asked sweetly as Dinah dashed over to the  
chests and handed Lilith a slab of Eridium

"good girl, good girl" Lilith panted as she used the Eridium to heal her wounds

"yeah. You here for Roland? Well, actually the Bloodshots grabbed him and took him to their stronghold in Three Horns Valley. I messaged you guys so you could help me find him" Lilith explained

"well… it's good to know some people are still fighting for what's right" Superman said warmly

"they're in here! Kill the Firehawk! Hyperion wants the costumed freaks alive!" a Bloodshot bandit yelled as a deafening explosion rang out

"looks like it's time to party" Zsasz said, unsheathing his trusty matching razors

"you done this before?" Lilith asked, as Batman cracked his shock glove knuckles

"I've done this so many times, I could do it in my sleep" Batman boasted proudly

"huh. I'd like to see THAT" Booster smirked as he saw Batman glare at him

"my Mommy's gonna be so mad!" a Badass Psycho babbled insanely just as soon as Two-Face blew his head off

"Rest in peace, you blood-sucking son of a bitch" Two-Face yelled, punching out a marauder in the crotch as the thug doubled over in pain, sobbing at the Dark Knight's feet

"please… help me" the marauder sobbed

"'fraid I can't do 'nuthin for ya, son" Vigilante said apologetically, putting the thug out of his misery with a blast to the head from his shotgun

"oooh, pretty little girl, I wanna taste you" a Badass Psycho giggled evilly as Supergirl hyperventilated in fear as she crawled over to the corner when she felt her powers finally awaken

"get… AWAY FROM ME" Kara screamed, using her heat vision to burn the psycho alive

"what the?" a Bruiser said before Kara torpedoed through his chest like a missile

"…Buttercup? Are you alright?" Alex asked worriedly as Supergirl thrashed a psycho with his own buzz axe

"I finally have my powers!" Supergirl cheered, still innocent and childish as always

"that's my girl" Hippolyta cheered proudly as the Girl of Steel pinned Flanksteak to the ground

"where's Roland?" Batman asked, his boot on the Bloodshot leader's neck

"…Bloodshot Stronghold. Holding cells. Will need… a bandit technical to get in… here… is key" Flanksteak wheezed as Supergirl took the key

"thank you for your cooperation. Now run as far away as you can, and if I ever see you terrorizing any more people again… I wont be so civil next time. Am I understood?" Supergirl asked

"Y-yes. Thank you" Flanksteak shivered as he cowardly ran for his life before tripping into the gaping mouth of a turf thresher. The large creature burped loudly and gave Supergirl a nod of saying thanks before opening a massive pathway to Three Horns  
Valley

"…how? How'd you do that?" Lilith asked, having healed herself

"I have the ability to communicate with animals. In this case, threshers, skags, rakk, stalkers, bullymongs, you name it" Supergirl explained

"…wow. This could come in handy for later" Nightwing commented

"I think the thresher is asking you if you wanna ride on him" Hawkgirl said as the turf thresher gently beckoned Kara to sit on his neck

"Woohoooo!" Supergirl cheered as their newfound pet drove down the road to the Bloodshot Stronghold

…

"Flanksteak sold us out to those costumed bandits. The Hyperion drop barge will be here to pick up Roland in 0700 hours. Make sure NO ONE gets in here. If you spot those Vault Hunters or the costumed freaks, kill 'em. And especially kill the little blonde  
one" Bad Maw, the new Bloodshot commander ordered when a deafening crash was heard

"BOSS! THEY'RE HERE! THEY'RE USING SPIDERANTS AND THRESHERS TO GET INSIDE" a bandit hollered before King Mong silenced him by snapping his neck

"fine. I'll take them myself. Cover me" Bad Maw growled, leaping off from his perch and thudding on the ground

"…ok I take that back. He is WAY uglier than Handsome Jack" Robin said to nobody in particular

"oh hohoho, y'all got jokes, huh?" Bad Maw chuckled sarcastically as he charged toward the heroes when all of a sudden, a giant 2,000 year old Romanian grand piano flattened Bad Maw like a pancake

"…well, so much for that" Diana said in disappointment as they entered the stronghold

"ok according to the map, Roland should be in the holding cells, which is very close to the entrance to the dam. All we need is to go through these rooms, cross Satan's Suckhole, then we'll find Roland and then we'll mosey our way back to Sanctuary" Vigilante  
explained as he and the group huddled over a map of Bloodshot Stronghold

"way ahead of you, partner. Now be extra careful; since Bad Maw's dead, the Bloodshots have increased security around here" Nisha warned

"what's our clock toward the drop barge arriving?" Nightwing asked

"we got approximately 0300 hours" Nisha answered

"well, let's make those hours count. Come on" Nightwing said, as they stealthily entered

"hmmm. Looks like they did beef up security after all, Nisha" Robin commented as he spotted several goliaths and ultra badass psychos patrolling the room

"mm-hmm. Zsasz, you're up" Nisha ordered

"they won't know what hit 'em" Zsasz grinned, motioning Zer0 to accompany him for backup in case something went wrong. In a matter of seconds, the thugs were dead

"all clear/life has left/blood is spilled" Zer0 said in his haiku

"does he always speak like that?" Hawkgirl asked Gaige

"I dunno. I just met him" Gaige shrugged

"don't worry, I always wanted to do this" Killer Croc said, grabbing an explosive barrel, and rolled it toward a mob of marauders and a nomad like a bowling ball. Without warning, it exploded, sending them flying

"Steeeeerike!" Killer Croc shouted joyously, pumping his fist

"…ok. That really is a big Suckhole" Robin commented as they entered Satan's Suckhole

"eugh, looks like the messy old bathtub at Great Aunt Petunia's" Supergirl retched in disgust

"you're right dear. Great Aunt Petunia wasn't very popular with cleanliness" Hippolyta agreed

"well, instead of us going for a bath in there, why not have one of THESE guys go instead?" Scorch grinned, using her pyrokinesis to send a few psychos and nomads splashing down into the whirlpool

"you're right Audrey, that WAS a good idea" Martian Manhunter agreed as they walked the bridge over the Sinkhole when a large bulky nomad named Mad Mike came out, backed by two bruisers

"I got this one, guys" Superman said confidently, decking the thugs out cold with a two-ton megaton punch

"huh. Not bad at all" Axton said

"showoff" Batman scoffed under his breath

"I heard that" Superman joked

...

"Vault Hunters, Leaguers. Finally I get to meet the ones who encountered Handsome Jack and lived" Roland said proudly

"oh thank goodness you're alive! Are you OK?" Kara asked worriedly

"you must be Supergirl. I've heard a lot about you. One of my men informed me your powers were awakened" Roland commented

"that's right. Here, watch this" Supergirl said, using her super strength to break the jail door open and hurled it into the path of the Warden constructor, causing it to explode

"…damn. You really ARE the Girl of Steel" Roland said in amazement as Kara gasped in shock as she felt the air beneath her hair

"oh my gosh… I'm… I'm FLYING" Kara cheered

"well, how about flying us outta here before more of these goons get here?" Robin asked

"sure thing" Supergirl said as she led the team out of the Stronghold

…

"holy crap! Did you just FLY into Sanctuary? Damn, girl, you're really something" Lilith exclaimed proudly as Kara gently landed down on the ground

"so… how'd the Bloodshots get you?" Lilith asked Roland

"I was taking a leak. One of 'em came behind me and knocked me out" Roland answered

"wow. Dumbass" Lilith snickered

"Vault Hunters, Leaguers… I have no idea how to win this war. But you guys…you all met Handsome Jack and lived. You fought the Fleshrippers, tamed all the wild animals, defeated the Bloodshots, saved both my ass and Lilith's…" Roland started

"that's his way of saying thanks" Lilith remarked

"oh, well, you're welcome. How can we help you?" Supergirl asked nicely

"I appreciate your confidence. That's something the people of Pandora really need. Robin, you said Handsome Jack was saying something about a key and wiping out all life on Pandora, right?" Roland asked

"yes sir, that's what he said. Apparently there's more" Robin said

"go on, son, we're listening" Two-Face said, letting Robin have the floor

"well… it turns out this Vault… it's not a thing full of loot or a large alien weapon thing… it's a living thing. An age old warrior of unlimited power. Whoever awakens it, gets to control it. In the wrong hands, meaning Hyperion's… then well, I think  
you know what will happen" Robin explained

"but… if WE get the Warrior first…" Alex added

"we could use it to crush Hyperion and find us a way to get home" Supergirl cheered

"that may be the case. Dr. Tannis is finding ways to get you back to Earth. In the meantime, we need you to go to Tundra Express and hijack the train carrying the Vault Key. I have an idea how we're gonna do it. I'll tell you the rest later" Roland ordered

"Yes, sir. We wont let you down" Supergirl said, saluting Roland proudly

"that's my girl. Good luck, all of you. And be careful" Roland warned

"we will" Alex said as they used the Fast Travel Station to find the entrance to Tundra Express

"hey… you ok, Robin?" Alex asked

"I'm not sure… I get the feeling this could be a trap. It's just a feeling… why am I getting the feeling that someone we know is also here? And… maybe Handsome Jack's not the real problem" Robin explained

"oh that's a bunch of honky tonk bullshit, boy. Besides, it's not like Baldy found a way to get to Pandora, bumped off Jack and took over Hyperion, right?" Black Mask asked as he and the others entered Tundra Express, unaware that high above the skies,  
a massive satellite in the shape of an L was floating above. And the obviously malevolent man in the control room needed no introduction

"Surprise" Lex Luthor said wickedly to the camera, as far from the room was Handsome Jack's bloodied corpse

"you summoned me, Mr. Luthor?" Wilhelm asked, the large half-man half machine brute appearing on the viewscreen

"Yes, I have an assignment for you. The Vault Hunters and the metahumans are heading to Tundra Express to get the Vault Key. Follow them and eliminate them" Lex ordered

"what of the Kryptonian codenamed Superman?" Wilhelm asked, an eerie bone-chilling smile forming on Lex's face

"…kill him as well. Because as Handsome Jack may have recently learned; if Man won't kill God… then the Devil will do it" Lex declared

"what's in it for me?" Wilhelm ordered

"kill them, bring me the Vault Key and I will give you a brand new body made of solid osmium. Do we have a deal?" Lex asked

"Proposition accepted, sir. Soon the Crimson Raiders will be crushed and Pandora will be all ours" Wilhelm spoke, the viewscreen fading as Lex grinned deviously to himself, plotting his next motion

 **To be continued…**


	4. Admiral Ackbar Says It's A Trap

**Justice League: The Borderlands Saga**

 **Chapter 4: Admiral Ackbar Says It's a Trap**

"well this is it… Tundra Express" Huntress said, as the heroes overlooked the massive land

"yup, nothing but ugly bugs, loud trains, bandits, loud helicopter thingamajigs and… what the?" Robin gasped as he rushed over to a nearby terrain

"what? What is it, Tim?" Superman asked

"I… I don't think we're the ONLY ones who landed on Pandora. Look at this" Robin spoke, handing Superman a broken piece of machinery. On it was an L written in green.

"hmmm… that L seems very, VERY familiar…" Superman said in puzzlement

"Is it me?" Livewire asked excitedly

"Nuh-uh. Something much, much more deadly" Superman said

"well who?" Kara asked

"think about it; the letter L, the color green, a broken LexCorp droid on the snowy mound…" Superman said, as the answer hit them

"…Lex Luthor" Hippolyta gasped

"OH MY SWEET JESUS, I KNEW IT" Killer Croc bellowed in shock when all of a sudden the ECHO went on

"hello Kal-El. Did you miss me?" Lex said mockingly

"YOU! YOU'RE BEHIND ALL THIS" Superman roared

"Congratulations, heroes! You've just discovered my brand new crime of the century! I call it Operation Pandora Pocalypse! And all of YOU will have a front row seat! Oh by the way Handsome Jack will no longer be bothering you anytime soon. Oh and here's an old friend of yours that REALLY wants to see you" Lex said wickedly, showing Angel in a tube filled with poison gas

"What have you DONE?" Supergirl asked in horror

"nothing yet, except the fact that if you continue this foolish quest of "saving" this wretched planet, well then, you know what will happen" Lex said evilly

"LEX! YOU LET HER GO RIGHT NOW, YOU HEAR ME? SHE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS" Superman roared angrily

"I'd love to Kal-El, but if you want her AND all of Pandora in one piece, then I suggest you turn yourselves in immediately. Oh and I wouldn't keep going ahead if I were you. I have a little surprise waiting for you once the train stops. Arrivederci!" Lex said tauntingly, the ECHO switching off

"I'm… going… to KILL him…" Superman said, his teeth clenched

"easy cousin, easy. We gotta help Roland first by getting the Vault Key" Supergirl said calmly

"whoa whoa whoa, back up the gravy train? Who the hell IS this Lex guy?" Nisha asked, shocked by this much unexpected revelation

"Lex is my archenemy. Every time, he'd invent new ways to defame me or kill me and I always foil 'em. He was always a peaceful man. I'd… I'd never thought he'd sell his love and soul for all life in the universe to a terrorist company" Superman explained

"well don't worry partner. We're gonna help you get him. And get Angel, too" Axton promised, placing his hand on the Man of Steel's shoulder

"actually… why don't you guys come with us to Earth? There's a lot of new things out there" Batman offered

"hmm… ok" Maya said

"really? You-you're serious?" Batman stammered

"yes. Pandora is becoming very, VERY hazardous for us to live. We've been planning a planet evacuation for years and we've never succeeded until now. Once this is all over, each and every person and creature of Pandora will be migrated to Earth so we can live in peace and harmony" Roland proposed

"deal" Batman agreed when a varkid landed on the Dark Knight's foot

"YAYYYY! BURN BUGS, BURN BUGS, BURN BUGS" Firefly cackled wildly, roasting the varkids alive, the fumes awakening world class sniper and alcoholic Mordecai and his BFF pet Bloodwing

"so loud…so angry… so dead" Mordecai boasted as Bloodwing perched herself on his arm

"hey Leaguers, Vault Hunters. Welcome to Pandora. Heard you guys ripped the Bloodshots a new one and busted Roland out. That's a really damn good job. Anyway, I've been out searching and if my intel's right, and it's ALWAYS right; the Vault Key is in that train. You stop that train and grab the Vault Key, we have a chance of stopping Luthor from waking up the Warrior" Mordecai said through the ECHO

"you heroes REALLY think you have a chance of stopping the greatest criminal mind of our time? I've learned a few new tricks from Handsome Jack before he was, shall we say… discharged from duty" Lex mocked through the ECHO

"can it egghead, we're stopping you one way or another" Nightwing snarled

"oh what are you gonna do? Haul me off to jail like always?" Lex teased

"oh, you'll find out soon enough" Red Hood said, holding his Crimson Raiders flag, waiting for the right opportunity which would come soon enough

"all around the Stactus plant, the stalker chased the bandit! The stalker thought 'twas all in fun, POP!" Tiny Tina shouted maniacally, blowing up a psycho with 10 kegs of dynamite

"…gee, she reminds me of Spoiler. Are they… twins by any chance?" Nightwing asked

"oh hi!" Tiny Tina said loudly, the Leaguers and Vault Hunters reluctantly following the mentally crazed 13 year old psycho to her workshop

"so Roland told me you was coming, he owes me big for that mixup with General Knoxx. So ya's gonna rob a train? Chiiiild's play! Lemme show ya my laaadiieesss" Tiny Tina purred, showing the heroes two stuffed bunny rabbits

"…uh, are THOSE her ladies?" Kara asked, feeling a bit creeped out by Tina's antics

"I know Tina can be odd and a bit frightening; but she has the skills we need to hijack the train and get the Vault Key. Oh and she also bites" Roland mentioned over the ECHO

"ok, Pandora is by far, the most scariest planet" Kara admitted

"how so, kid?" Nisha asked

"well… big scary bandits, really wild plants, crazy people… I just wanna go home" Kara sobbed, Alex hugging her for comfort

"I know how you feel buttercup. I didn't mean for this to happen either. But Pandora needs our help. Angel is counting on us to save her. I don't know if victory will be possible or if we'll ever leave Pandora, but we WILL stick together and we will not give up, because we're family. We never leave anyone behind" Alex said, Kara looking at her big sister with tears in her eyes

"and when it's all over?" Kara asked, sniffling

"when it's all over, we're going home. With our new friends. I promise" Alex said, ruffling her baby sister's hair

"now come on, turn that frown upside down" Alex grinned, tickling Kara's belly, Kara giggling as she hugged her older sister

"I love you big sissy" Kara said happily

"I love you too, my little buttercup" Alex cooed, kissing Kara's forehead

"awww, that's so sweet" Nisha said

"yeah, yeah, ok come on guys, we gotta help Tina get her thingamajigs so we can get the Vault Key and find a way outta this madhouse" Red Hood ordered

"…boy, he really IS like Bruce" Kara said to Alex, as soon as Red Hood was out of hearing

"you got my badonkadonks? BEST DAY EVER. Bring 'em over and I'll see if we can have us a good ol train robbery" Tina said excitedly over the ECHO

…

"how's it going in there? We've been out here for fifteen minutes, and we're freezing" Alex hollered as she, the Leaguers and the Vault Hunters stood outside Tina's workshop as Tina herself was working on the bombs

"ta-da! All done" Tina announced, Kara waking up from her nap

"take 'em. Take em, take em, take em, take em" Tina babbled, Nightwing slowly grabbing the bunnies

"on my signal, we run as fast as we can" Nightwing whispered before a farting sound was heard.

"there's something behind me, isn't there?" Booster asked nervously as he gasped with fright as an ultra super badass psycho loomed over him

"RUUUUNNNNNN" Alex hollered, as the heroes mowed down the psycho and made a mad dash for the train tracks where the bombs were set

"…wow… that… was… really…" Kara panted, out of breath as Huntress helped her up

"ten! Nine!" Tina counted down, the heroes covering their ears when without warning, the rockets blasted off and blew the train track to smithereens, causing the Hyperion convoy train to come crashing down into the icy river

"I was bored" Tina said nonchalantly

"of course you were" Batman snarked as the heroes carefully walked up the train wreckage to the End of the Line

"uh… guys?" Robin asked as soon as they entered

"yes, Timmy?" Alex asked

"remember that little surprise Lex said he had for us as soon as we found the train?" Robin whimpered as an ominous shadow loomed

"uh-oh" Kara and Alex said in unison as they came face to face with Wilhelm, the butcher of New Haven

"…I need an adult" Booster whimpered, covering his potatoes with his hands

"oh for goodness sakes, there's no reason to-AAAAHHH" Hippolyta yelled as Wilhelm grabbed her

"MOMMY" Black Canary yelled, feeling her hidden superstrength rise and unleash

"The bandits will be dead soon, Luthor" Wilhelm spoke into his ECHO

"you leave my mommy ALONE, you… you… big bully" Black Canary shouted, kicking Wilhelm in the cybernetic testicles, Hippolyta landing in Black Canary's arms

"AAAAGGGHHH! IS…THIS…PAIN?" Wilhelm grunted in agony

"oh thank you Dinah sweetie! You were a brave little girl! I'm so proud of you" Hippolyta sniffled, hugging Dinah close

"big sis?" Supergirl asked

"yes?" Alex answered

"you wanna help me take down this big bully? Just like Non and Indigo?" Supergirl asked

"buttercup, it'd be my pleasure" Alex smiled as the sisters charged heroically into battle, Alex flying right into the Loaders

"how do you like THAT, you lousy hunks of junk!" Supergirl shouted, smashing a GUN Loader in half with her bare hands

"leave Pandora ALONE" Alex cried, freezing an EXP Loader with her freeze breath before pushing it down, crashing into pieces

"THIS IS LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE" Wilhelm shouted in disbelief as Supergirl grabbed a nearby pipe bomb and shoved it down the monstrous cyborg's throat as everyone took cover

"Huh?" Wilhelm gasped as he suddenly felt smoke rising from his body. Suddenly he realized what was about to happen

"Uh-oh" Wilhelm uttered before exploding into smithereens, his top crashing into the snowy ground, a power core tumbling out of the wreckage

"WHAT? The Vault Key ISNT here? WHAT THE FRIGGING HEY?" Livewire hollered

"oh I'm sorry you meddling Leaguers, actually it is I who have the Vault Key. It's in my top-secret impenetrable base in the Highlands, far, far from your location. So I'll ask you again; turn yourselves in, NOW or mark my words, things will get much, much, MUCH worse" Lex threatened over the ECHO

"wait! Don't take the power core! It's a trap!" Supergirl shouted

"wow, what a statement, Admiral Ackbar" Green Arrow smirked sarcastically

"it's a Hyperion network uplink. If we load into Sanctuary's power core, the shields will drop and that'll give that moonshot thingy the chance to bomb us" Supergirl explained

"wow… that is a very smart deduction, buttercup" Alex said, impressed

"well, then I guess we better head back to Sanctuary and see what's next on our agenda. If we find the Vault Key, we find Angel and hopefully, we'll find Lex and possibly, our way back to Earth" Green Arrow said

"but, there's one thing you forgot" Robin said

"oh boy…" Green Arrow moaned

"we gotta kill the Warrior and destroy Hyperion completely. Then and ONLY then can we ALL go to Earth" Robin explained

"oh pfft, how hard can killing a thousand year old alien thingy be?" Green Arrow said cockily

"it isn't a laughing matter Ollie. According to my research, these Warriors are very, VERY dangerous and they even possess the power to wipe out an ENTIRE planet" Alex said, everyone gasping in horror

"…Oh" Green Arrow said

"well we DID take down that robot guy, right? So if we do the same thing we did here, we'll have saved Pandora, wiped out Hyperion and be home in time for Red vs. Blue" Nightwing said confidently

"yeah, he does have pretty good points" Maya admitted

"um guys? How long are we gonna be out here?" Kara asked

"ooh, you're right. Come on, let's amscray before Mr. Clean sends any more of his lousy mecha-mooks our way" Black Mask ordered as they took the Fast Travel Station back to Sanctuary

"…so Lex said he's holding the Vault Key somewhere in the Highlands?" Roland asked

"yup" Black Mask answered

"and Wilhelm?" Lilith asked

"well he went out with a pretty big bang" Dinah joked

"well, at least we now know where Lex is holding both Angel and the Vault Key. We'll move our base of operations over to the town of Overlook. Get through the Fridge. I'll explain the rest to you later" Roland ordered

"hey, hey, hey, wait a second; aint The Fridge supposed to be infested with rats?" Red Hood asked

"not anymore, sir. They was pretty delicious" Killer Croc grinned, licking his chops

"…you disgust me" Batman snarled, as the Leaguers and Vault Hunters headed off to the Highlands


	5. Out from the Fridge and into the Jungle

**Justice League: The Borderlands Saga**

 **Chapter 5: Out ofthe Fridge and into the Jungle**

"geez, whoever called this junk heap The Fridge wasn't kidding" Axton shivered

"oh quit your whining, will you? We're almost outta here" Black Mask said when Batman came across an odd sight: a psycho dressed in an absolutely mediocre rakk costume. But the real kicker? His name: Rakkman

"Axton, please kill this imposter" Batman growled, showing his immense hatred for imposters

"you don't have to tell me twice" Axton said, letting a few rounds loose into Rakkman's head

"gee, that was quick" Huntress commented as the heroes entered the Highlands

"wow… this is very beautiful. I actually take back everything bad I said about Pandora" Kara said cheerfully

"really?" Maya asked, when the mood suddenly shifted as a monstrous stalker eyed Kara hungrily, Kara suddenly switching from her childish side into her savage, kamakrazee bestial mode

"…just kidding" Kara giggled before squashing the beast with a mallet and chewing up it's remains

"boy, if that doesn't scream mood swings, then I don't know what else does" Green Arrow quipped

"keep it up and you'll get smacked as well" Kara threatened, before burping loudly and wiping the stalker's blood off on Claptrap

"gee, THANKS" Claptrap said in disgust

"well, isn't this lovely? More frigging robots" Black Mask said sarcastically as they were greeted by a massive wave of loaders with a Constructor 2.0 in the front

"uh… Clayface? Would you care to do the honors?" Maya asked, the giant cracking his knuckles in excitement

"it'd be my pleasure" Clayface grinned, before letting out a savage war cry and started trashing the loaders and constructor until there was nothing but junk

"what the hey is this?" Huntress asked, opening a box, only to scream in horror

"what? What is… oh my god!" Green Arrow gasped as the heroes found Handsome Jack's dismembered, decomposed and disarmed carcass inside the box

"…well serves him right. To be fair, he WAS kind of an asshole" Alex admitted

"yeah. These stalkers look hungry. Let's feed 'em" Kara chimed in, feeding the carcass to the beasts

"…so much for a proper burial or cremation" Batman deadpanned

"hey! You there! Stop and we'll shoot you" a Hyperion official ordered

"uh… not to be rude, but don't you mean OR we'll shoot you" Kara asked politely, all guns trained at her

"oops" Kara said meekly as she felt a sneeze coming on

"ah…ah…AAHCHOOO" Kara sneezed, the blast of the sneeze destroying all Hyperion security and robots all over the Highlands

"…damn" Axton said in amazement

"Excuse me" Kara said sheepishly, blowing her nose with a Kleenex

"...how in the hell did she DO that?" Maya asked Hippolyta

"well, my dear, that's for me to know, and for YOU to find out" Hippolyta said, patting Maya's head gently

"oh son of a Grodd!" Nightwing cursed in annoyance

"what's the situation now?" Nisha asked

"apparently we can't reach Sanctuary 'cuz it isn't installed into the damn Fast Travel!" Nightwing griped

"hmmm… that IS a bit problematic" Hippolyta remarked

"I got it! We can grab that moonshot uplink beacon thingy from that Hyperion outlook over there!" Kara suggested

"Buttercup, that's a great idea!" Alex cheered

"yeah, sure, let's listen to the little blonde girl who instead of burying our enemy fed him to a bunch of weird animals!" Red Hood griped

"Jason, do you wanna go home or do you wanna remain here hunted by vicious near psychotic bandit murderers?" Huntress asked

"ok, ok, I'll shut up" Red Hood sighed

"look! There it is!" Kara said excitedly only to gulp as the beacon then got swallowed by a gluttonous thresher

"I got this" Kara said confidently, then communicated to the creature in its native tongue. The thresher obediently nodded its head and spat out the beacon, covering the heroes with thresher saliva and mucus

"Ewwwww! This is WAY worse than getting covered in slag! Ugh, and now my clothes are RUINED!" Maya complained

"don't worry dear, when we get home, we'll all take some nice warm showers" Hippolyta said kindly

"oof…this thing is really heavy… like Batman's stick up his ass" Red Hood complained

"I HEARD THAT" Batman snarled angrily, Axton separating the squabbling duo

"well, welcome to Overlook. I know its not much and that most of the people stay in their homes 'cuz they got the shivers, but… it'll do for now" Mordecai chimed through their ECHO

"ok, it'll take a few secs or so to have the request approved" Red Hood said, installing the beacon with an impenetrable defense grid

 **A few secs later…**

The Leaguers and Vault Hunters were sound asleep snoring loudly when the Fast Travel Station landed right on the head of a Badass Loader

"hmmm? Is…is that donuts?" Kara asked, half-asleep when she beamed up after seeing the Fast Travel

"ok, come on, let's go!" Red Hood said excitedly, getting in front of the Leaguers

"Jason, be careful! We don't wanna pick the wrong…." Maya said when all of a sudden, everyone landed smackdab in a murky jungle swamplike land

"….location" Maya finished as everyone glared at Jason

"so…where the hell are we?" Athena asked curiously

"I suppose this is some kind of jungle or something" Robin spoke

"what ho, fellow travelers! How fortuitous you decided to join me in my big game hunt! Together we shall trail, examine and bag these ravenous beasts! Come meet me at my cave, would you?" Sir Hammerlock asked chipperly over the ECHO

"oh great, THAT guy again. Well, let's get outta here" Red Hood said when the Fast Travel went on hold

"I think we're not supposed to leave…wherever we are until this big game hunt is done" Batwoman said

"oh joy. So we fell out of Pandora and landed smackdab into this smelly mud pit of trees, wild bugs and… there's something right behind me, isn't there?" Booster asked nervously as a giant borok was salivating over him

"…time to run" Kara squeaked as she let out a bloodcurdling scream of terror as everyone ran for their lives, being chased by the angry wildlife and even more ticked off natives

"Run, run, run, run!" Flash panted, as everyone dodged spears and darts and the like as they all jumped off a peak and landed in a damp cavern

"ah! Salutations, my friends! How goes the mission to retake Pandora?" Sir Hammerlock asked

"well, we WERE gonna head to Sanctuary when SOMEONE got a little trigger happy with the Fast Travel and sent us here instead" Huntress deadpanned

"oh, I'm sincerely sorry about that. Rest assured, once all is said and done on Egres, I'll calibrate the Fast Travel to Sanctuary where you shall be there in no time" Sir Hammerlock promised

"ok, deal" Kara said, shaking Hammerlock's metal hand

"ah, you must be Kara! Roland's been telling me quite a lot about you. If only Pandora had more gentle, loving and pure hearted people like you" Hammerlock said kindly

"so… what are we hunting, Mr. Hammerlock? Those really scary things that were chasing us?" Dinah asked

"precisely, my dear girl. But first, we need to clear my cabin out of these wild natives. Apparently since Handsome Jack died, they formed a cult of sorts and took the idea of wearing masks of Jack's face" Hammerlock explained

"that is kinda scary" Alex admitted

"well no time to dilly dally. Off we go" Hammerlock said

"a hunting we will go, a hunting we will go, high-ho, the derry-o, a hunting we will…" Kara chanted cheerfully until she saw the glare Batman gave her

"Stop…singing" Batman growled venomously

"okays" Kara said, smiling innocently, the Dark Knight rolling his eyes

…

"yeah, that's right, you ugly ass sons of bitches! Get the hell outta our cabin! And if you come back here again, I got a 12-gauge buckshot with all your names on it!" Black Mask hollered as the natives cowered away in fear

"wow! What a nice bed" Kara said excitedly, jumping up and down on a mahogany twin bed

"give her a few minutes…" Alex said to Maya as Kara immediately ceased jumping and fell safely on the bed, sound asleep

"see? Told you" Alex said, gently covering Kara with the blanket

"is it my imagination or is it always raining in here?" Axton asked, as raindrops drip-dropped constantly on his head from above the ceiling

"to be quite honest, the weather here is more different than on Pandora, my boy" Hammerlock said

"great" Axton grumbled, putting on a bandana that resembles one of a certain guy named the Italian Stallion

"ok, we all get some sleep. Then tomorrow, we go hunting and get to Sanctuary and finish the mission" Huntress said, everyone nodding in agreement. If they looked out the window, they could've seen a very tiny, eccentric little man watching them


End file.
